---
title: You Need Three Deep Relationships To Thrive As You Age- A Lesson From Superagers And What That Means For You
description: Superagers show remarkable memory tied to gregarious lives and distinct brain traits. Social connection supports brain health and may cut dementia risk.
author: Dr Marina Nani (Editor-in-Chief)
date: 2025-09-02T11:18:24.000Z
updated: 2026-02-26T15:51:40.457Z
canonical: https://richwoman.co/article/you-need-three-deep-relationships-to-thrive-as-you-age-a-lesson-from-superagers-and-what-that
image: https://cdn.nanimediahouse.com/f62f6c6a-c14b-4937-8b1f-1da056fa03a3.jpg
categories: Wellbeing
content_type: Guide
region: Illinois
publication: Rich Woman Magazine
---

People over 80 with memory like someone decades younger share one clear personality trait: gregariousness. Their brains show an unusual concentration of von Economo neurons and a thicker anterior cingulate cortex, according to [research published in Alzheimer’s & Dementia](https://alz-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/alz.70312) from Northwestern University’s SuperAging Research Program. With [the 2024 Lancet commission estimating](https://www.thelancet.com/commissions-do/dementia-prevention-intervention-and-care) that up to 45 percent of dementia cases may be preventable, this finding offers a biological clue to staying sharp that goes far beyond conventional lifestyle advice.

## What Makes a Superager

The SuperAging Research Program was founded by Sandra Weintraub and Marsel Mesulam 25 years ago, after they examined the post-mortem brain of an 81-year-old woman with the cognitive function of someone in her 50s. Since then, more than a hundred superagers have been studied and 77 post-mortem brains analysed. The operational test used in the study is straightforward: aged 80 or older and able to recall at least nine words about 30 minutes after hearing a 15-word list.

This test identifies people whose memory matches that of individuals decades younger. Yet the Northwestern researchers discovered that superagers share more than just sharp recall — they possess distinctive personality traits and brain architecture that set them apart from their peers.

## The Surprising Common Trait: Sociability

When researchers compared lifestyles and personalities, gregariousness stood out. ‘These are people living life on their own terms,’ says Tamar Gefen, study author and assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioural sciences at Northwestern University. This isn’t ordinary socialising — the study emphasises autonomy and varied connections, including volunteering and intimate relationships. Some participants even maintained multiple romantic partners.

Superagers distinguish themselves through their approach to connection rather than the quantity of their social interactions. They cultivate relationships that reflect their values of independence and authentic engagement, rejecting the notion that ageing requires shrinking social worlds.

## The Biology That Lines Up With Being Social

The brain differences in superagers help explain their social nature. They possess a higher density of von Economo neurons than their peers and even younger adults. These specialised neurons are found in social animals — [great apes, elephants, whales and cetaceans](https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3140770/) — and are concentrated in the anterior cingulate cortex, which plays a role in empathy and quick social judgement. ‘You really only find these in species that are social, like whales,’ notes Joel Kramer, professor of neuropsychology at the University of California, San Francisco.

Superagers also maintain a thicker anterior cingulate gyrus, suggesting greater tenacity and motivation. ‘This may reflect that superagers may be more willing to exert effort in the face of challenges,’ explains Alexandra Touroutoglou, assistant professor of neurology at Harvard University who studies superagers. The region is traditionally associated with motivation rather than memory, pointing to the importance of persistence in [cognitive health](https://richwoman.co/article/easy-to-follow-lifestyle-choices-to-keep-your-brain-fit-and-protect-your-cognitive-reserve-fr).

The research also reveals superagers have a more robust cholinergic system. They show less acetylcholinesterase in certain neurons, suggesting acetylcholine — crucial for alertness and memory — may degrade more slowly in their brains. This mirrors the mechanism of modern dementia drugs like donepezil, which work by slowing acetylcholine breakdown.

## Pathology and Resilience

Superagers aren’t immune to brain pathology associated with ageing. The study found some showed neurofibrillary tangles, a hallmark of Alzheimer’s disease. However, they also maintained a much greater number of viable, healthy neurons compared to their peers. ‘This is an important finding, because it underscores that superagers may not avoid all pathological age-related brain changes,’ Touroutoglou notes. ‘It also shows the viable neurons may play an important role that has not been studied.’

The research outlines two possible protective mechanisms: resistance, where the brain avoids damage altogether, and resilience, where the brain maintains function despite some pathological changes. Superagers appear to demonstrate the latter, suggesting their brains can compensate for age-related changes more effectively.

## Lifestyle Nuances

Surprisingly, the study found little difference between superagers who lived conventionally healthy lifestyles and those who didn’t. Those who exercised regularly and ate well performed similarly to those who smoked or avoided physical activity. However, this finding requires careful interpretation. ‘You cannot completely know whether these sorts of behaviours are helping or not,’ Gefen cautions, noting this wasn’t a controlled longitudinal study tracking people from youth.

Other research strongly supports [lifestyle interventions for brain health](https://richwoman.co/article/practical-steps-to-improve-midlife-defence-mechanisms-and-late-life-health-how-psychological-). The 2024 Lancet commission identified 14 modifiable risk factors — including physical inactivity, social isolation and poor diet — that could prevent nearly half of dementia cases. In the US, [where 6.9 million Americans aged 65 and older live with Alzheimer’s dementia](https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/facts-figures), lifestyle changes remain crucial for population-level prevention.

## Practical Ways to Strengthen Social Connection and Tenacity

While you can’t guarantee becoming a superager, you can align your habits with their social patterns. Focus on depth rather than breadth in relationships — cultivate three to five meaningful connections rather than maintaining large networks. [Research on ‘social convoys’ shows](https://vegoutmag.com/lifestyle/s-doctors-say-these-3-choices-at-60-determine-if-youll-suffer-or-thrive-at-80/) you need three to five deep relationships to thrive as you age.

Consider regular, low-key volunteering or group hobbies that provide repeated social contact. [Book clubs, walking groups or community gardening](https://richwoman.co/article/ageing-with-vitality-how-women-over-60-are-redefining-their-golden-years) create natural opportunities for sustained connection without requiring extensive social energy. Reframe ‘being social’ as sustained engagement rather than constant activity — quality interactions matter more than frequency.

Build small daily practices that strengthen grit and engagement. Set goals in manageable blocks rather than overwhelming long-term commitments. Tackle cognitive challenges with company — join a chess club, take an art class or learn [a language with others](https://richwoman.co/article/written-in-white-matter-your-native-language-designs-your-brain-and-makes-you-unique). These activities combine social interaction with mental stimulation, mirroring the patterns observed in superagers.

Remember that authentic connection, like that demonstrated by superagers, involves living according to your values rather than social expectations. This might mean maintaining friendships that energise you while stepping back from obligatory social commitments that drain your resources.

## What This Means for Your Future

The Northwestern research reframes social life as a potential biological clue to [ageing well](https://richwoman.co/article/age-proof-lifestyle-keep-your-mind-vibrant-and-your-body-sharp). Rather than viewing socialisation as optional pleasant addition to healthy ageing, these findings suggest it may be fundamental to maintaining cognitive sharpness. The presence of von Economo neurons in superagers’ brains provides a compelling link between social engagement and neural resilience.

Connection becomes an achievable, low-drama habit worth protecting in midlife and beyond. Unlike genetic factors you can’t control, social engagement offers actionable territory for influence. Start small: [research shows strong social bonds with family and friends are crucial](https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a65428293/5-smart-habits-that-will-help-you-age-well/) not only for mental health but also for lowering risks of heart disease and stroke.

The SuperAging brain bank continues to reveal new insights about cognitive resilience. As researchers investigate what makes von Economo neurons special and their role in disease resistance, science edges closer to understanding how some brains maintain exceptional function into advanced age. While more research is needed, [the social patterns of superagers](https://richwoman.co/article/harnessing-a-sharper-mind-an-ageless-path-to-your-first-100-year-milestone) offer hope that meaningful connection might be one key to staying sharp as we age.
